


The incident that threw the world off balance

by ReptileRuler



Series: mishaps [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Gen, Human!Zim, ZADF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 14:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReptileRuler/pseuds/ReptileRuler
Summary: Dib gets revenge for what Zim did to him last Halloween... Now he's stuck taking care of someone who just doesn't know how to human.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from FFnet!!

"Hey, Dumbface. You gonna tag along or not?" Gaz voice emanated from outside his room somewhere, maybe downstairs.

"No, Gaz. Halloween's been ruined for me. Not even candy could make me feel good after this past couple of Halloweens-gone-wrong", Dib answered, putting more emotion into this than Gaz probably found necessary.

"Your loss, cause I'm not sharing." Gaz then exited loudly through the front door. Personally, Dib was grateful to have her out of the house, if only because the knowledge that someone in a clown suit was in close vicinity set him off slightly.

Then his thoughts left his sister, and he returned to his previous task: sulking.

Out of all things Zim had ruined for him, Halloween must have been the suckiest one! Two years ago, he had been sucked into his own subconscious world full of nightmares, and almost been trapped because of Zim's selfish desire to escape. (Granted, it was his own fault for using his dad's invention … but Zim had been involved and thus could be blamed.)

Next last year, Zim had turned him into the wolf he was dressed up as! It had been horrifying, feeling the beast's instincts take over him, and he still had nightmares of what could've happened if he hadn't turned himself back in time.

He hated Zim, but he wasn't willing to tear him open with his bare teeth. (The mental image left him nauseous.)

He still had the gun Zim had used in his closet. If he remembered correctly it turned anyone dressed up as something into their costumes, which, he guessed, was cool. Losing oneself to animal instincts and rage though, not so cool.

 _Urgh, I wish I had a way to get revenge,_ he thought, _something meaner than punching him or throwing food at him or calling him out for the alien menace he is._

If only Zim would be in a costume for Halloween. He could use the gun and turn him into what he was dressed up as, just like Zim had done to him. An eye for an eye, or whatever they said.

But Zim would never do that. He hated Halloween, maybe more than he hated anything else on earth. The only costume he'd ever wear was his stupid-

His human disguise.

Dib sat up, heart beating faster suddenly. Would it work? Did the disguise even count as a costume?

… And would it be worth it? If Zim turned human, he couldn't be exploited for an alien anymore, and that would suck.

But hey, the gun worked to turn him back, so when Zim had gotten a good freak-out out of it, Dib could beat him unconscious (Shouldn't be hard if he was just a normal human), tie him up, and then turn him back into an alien and hand him over to the authorities.

Yes! He could do it!

He jumped out of bed, digging through his closet until all his belongings were on the floor and Zim's gun in his hand, and flew down the stairs and out of his house.

But not before putting on his ghost-hat – just for the Halloweeny mood.

.

It was _that_ horrible time of the year again! Zim had learned nothing from his mistakes, and thought this a wonderful (but dangerous, maybe even life-threateningly so) opportunity to kill all humans and prepare the earth for the arrival of the armada!

He stood atop his house, fiddling with some machine or other that supposedly would burn everything into a fine, dusty, dead surface. Except that it wasn't working – the humans were still alive!

He cursed, kicking the machine a couple of times as the kids below walked door to door, asking for candy and blood. GIR was at the door, indulging in this cursed holiday.

"Zim!"

"Dib?!" Zim startled, and turned around to see the Dib standing on his roof! "How did you get up here?"

"That isn't important! What is is that I'll finally get my revenge!"

"Revenge?" Zim's head tilted in confusion. "You're never the one looking for revenge, that's always meaaAAARGH!"

While Zim talked, Dib had already whipped out the gun and shot him. True enough, light engulfed him as his disguise morphed into his skin, he grew ears and a nose and his teeth turned white and blunt.

Slowly, his scream died into coughs and sputters as his knees gave away and he hit the tiled rooftop with a thump.

Dib's heart beat loudly and he held his breath in anticipation. The light died down and he examined the result. Aw, Zim's PAK was still there, but otherwise he really did look just like a twelve year old boy. (Zim hadn't changed his disguise since arriving on earth, and now he looked young enough to be Dib's little brother.)

"Hah. Aren't you a cute little kid, Zim? Y'know what, I was gonna turn you back later but you actually look better as a human."

"Wha-" Zim sat up, and squinted at everything. "What did you do? Everything is gray!"

"Oh I just used your own weapon against you. Remember when you turned me into a wolf for Halloween?" Dib said, the hint of a malicious smirk in his voice. On his face, the smirk was less hinted at and much more obvious. No one could deny that is was a smirk. As Zim's face turned to him, he took the time to really examine those features. He looked a lot like his disguise, but his eyes were a deep brown and he had a nose pointy enough to poke someone's eyes out. He also had freckles for some reason, but Dib decided to not dwell on that for too long.

"You used that old gun on me? How dare you, you stupid, inferior, _grotesque_ human child!" Zim snapped, all the while standing up how to stumble to the ground again," Ow."

"Is that something you would same to your _fellow_ human?" Dib said, grinning even wider.

What do you-" Dib enjoyed watching Zim pause, tense, then jerk in horror and realization. "You hit me while I was in my disguise!"

"Heheh, nice job figuring it out", Dib said.

"Why I ought to- I can't contact my PAK! If I could you'd be pierced right through by now, you wretched boy", Zim said.

"Uh-huh", Dib nodded. It was impossible to take someone that looked younger than him seriously. He didn't take Zim seriously to begin with of course, but now he was even less of a threat. As Zim stood up, it became clear he could barely stand properly.

"Dib! I'm gonna- whoa…" he flailed around," give me the gun or else I'll-" he stumbled, straight into Dib's belly.

"Or else what", Dib asked, holding the gun above his head while Zim awkwardly hugged him to regain his balance.

"I'll kill you, Dib", Zim said and wow, he really was harmless right now. He also seemed distracted, maybe by everything being 'gray' that he mentioned before. He spent some moments wondering at the difference between human and irken eyes and realized that he really had no clue.

"Good luck with that, Zim. I guess I can't call you space-bean anymore. Huh", Dib said, and gently pried himself free. Zim stumbled, but did not fall over. He looked up with wide eyes, an almost scared expression taking over his features. "Anyway, I'll come see you later, to see just how miserably you're failing at being human!" He waved goodbye and left the rooftop in the same mysterious way as he had arrived.

.

Zim squinted, a whole new organ beating and too many fingers shaking. He was alone on his rooftop and –curse it all – this human body sent him not enough info on his surroundings. All he got were muted colors and muffled smells. He couldn't _use_ muted colors and muffled smells! How would he find the elevator without his antennae? How would he measure distance without an echo-localized map inside his brain?

His breathing increased into shallow pants as he looked around, and once again lost his balance.

At least he could still sense his PAK, even if he couldn't contact it. It was there, a safe, familiar feeling when everything else was _wrong._

"GIR!" he called, the only hope he had of getting down from the roof. "GIR! Come to your masterrrr!"

The roar of his robot's jet engines was too loud, and oh yeah, noises didn't translate the same anymore! These wretched human ears turned noise into the most useless data he'd encountered.

"Whatizzit, Master?" GIR said. Did he always speak so shriekily?

"GIR! Something horrible has happened!" Zim said, focusing on the blob-shape that was GIR," Dib used my own invention against me and turned me into a stinking human! You must help me down from this roof, so that I can retrieve the gun and get my revenge!" He stumbled over his clumsy tongue more often than was dignified, but he had no time to be bothered!

"You _are_ stinking", Gir nodded thoughtfully, but did not otherwise react to Zim's looks, which he could only assume were hideous. But he did have a perfect disguise, so maybe he did not look too different from that.

"Just get me down! There's no time to lose!"

"Okay!" Gir said and lifted him…

… And promptly threw him off the roof.

Zim screamed, and had a split second to consider the durability of human bodies before he landed in a bush with an 'oof'.

He lay there, gathering his (very limited) senses, as the stars in front of his eyes gradually faded and he could once again see. (Or, if you could call this 'seeing'.) Somewhere above him, GIR cackled. Then he heard the dumb robot exclaim 'ooh, squirrel' and skip off.

"Ouch", he managed after a while. It did not hurt specifically, but he had never experienced getting his breath knocked away, of dizziness like this before. It took a few more minutes for him to sit up and examine his surroundings.

Ugh, eyes. He had never realized how much he relied on antennae and artificial enhancements before. If humans always saw things this grey and bland, then surely they wouldn't complain when he invaded and freed them from their misery.

He willed his sore body out of the bush and stumbled onto the pavement. Dib, he had to find Dib. This human form was unacceptable and the sooner he could return to his former glory, the better.

He limped forth, determined to storm into his enemy's house and pry the gun from his grip! Or something like that.

His ankle (was that the name) hurt whenever he put weight on it, and he vaguely noticed how slowly humans healed. And he still had his PAK, but it must be malfunctioning, because it didn't obey his commands, nor did it give him any plan of action, or information about his wounds, or where he was going.

Hey, where _was_ he going?

He stopped. This neighborhood was unknown to him. He had never seen them before, yet he was sure this was the correct way to the Dib-house. Right?

His PAK didn't answer. It was just a … presence. His head was eerily silent without it and his memory not as sharp. He couldn't remember if he'd been in this neighborhood before.

"Hey, why aren't ya dressed up, kid?" A voice said. Zim's heart skipped a beat and he span around. It was an adult, the most stupid kind of human! He smiled, but all Zim could focus on was the disgusting beard, with candy and pizza leftovers stuck all over it. Even like this, with his senses stunted to inferiority, the sight made him want to puke.

"Ah! I am not participating in this holiday because on my uhh, religion! And thus, I do not knock on strangers' door and take their candy!" Zim rambled, as his five-fingered hands grew sticky inside his gloves.

"Now, don't be like that. Here, have some candy", the man dug into one large pocket on his pants. Zim backed away. His head was spinning. He couldn't unleash his PAK legs.

"No. I… I'm a vegetarian. I have to go!" He turned around and ran. The man called for him, but the afterimage of dirty beard and crooked teeth kept him going, even as the world tilted, even as his shoulder bumped into a lamppost and sent him stumbling, he kept going until he literally dropped and scraped his cheek against the ground.

He panted, vision blurry and unfocused. Something was ringing, and he couldn't tell if it came from his useless ears or from the real world. He convulsed, nausea still there but, as his spooch-turned-stomach was empty, he didn't.

As the sun lowered behind the buildings, a shadow walked up to him, hovering just over his face silently. Zim opened one eye heavily, and was black boots.

"Zim", Dib said," You're pathetic."

Zim coughed, tried to glare at Dib but only managed a miserable squint. Dib was veiled in the growing darkness, but his glasses still shone somehow. The gun was nowhere in sight, and Zim's arms shook when he tried to get up.

"You got blood all over the pavement," he sighed. Moments later, hands circled his forearms and pulled him up. Fabric brushed his face and below his nose, soaking up the liquids gathered in his face when he fell.

Zim knew humans could bleed from their nose, he had punched Dib in the face enough to know, but he never knew just how it felt to bleed from your nose.

He still knew he couldn't allow himself to accept help from an enemy, but, as an arm supported his back and another cared for his scrapes, he was actually quite comfortable. There weren't even any warning messages from his PAK. Nothing blaring in his head to attack or defend or even escape. If he were Irken right now, the PAK would probably urge him to scream insults and then pierce Dib with a spider leg.

He liked to obey those commands, but they weren't there right now, and maybe he liked that as well.

"Hey, can you stand?" Dib said. Zim groaned, hazy-minded and weak in his arms. "I guess you can't. Um. This'll be awkward but I'm gonna carry you home."

Movement, and Zim felt himself pressed against a chest. The warmth seeped into him, like hot glue seeped into paper seconds before hardening, but much more soothing. As Dib carried him down the street, he leaned in, instinctively, feeling the lull of the walk and a heartbeat against his ear.

He could never admit out loud, but it was … nice.

.

For good measure, Dib dumped him rather unceremoniously on the couch in Zim's own house. Zim grunted, but simply turned around and curled up. Dib suspected that he had fallen asleep on their way here.

Zim had taken being human expectedly … bad. Although Dib had thought the 'bad' would mean being angry and ashamed and in denial, but instead it had been panicking, running in terror from a random dude and almost fainting in the middle of the street. Maybe it had been a good thing to stalk him for shits and giggles.

"Hey, Zim-", he said, flatly, because he had saved him and now didn't know what to do,"- You need anything? Something to drink? Or like, food? You're human now, so you need food, right?"

"Just turn me back, Dib", Zim said, or rather, mumbled. Dab had never heard him mumble, and it sounded mostly like a mouse squeaking.

"Heh, no. I left the gun hidden at my house, so you're stuck until you can find it." He smirked. He only felt a little sadistic at that – the empathetic part of him just felt bad at how pathetic Zim was.

Even now, the ex-alien could muster up enough to glare at him, but it was really pitiful, what with his nosebleed and the scrapes on his cheek and curled-up posture.

"Really though", Dib continued," do you need something to eat, because I'm still gonna give you a fair chance at finding it, so I can't have you starving on your couch."

"… I ate last week. That usually is enough for a few more days."

"But you're human right now. I guess I'll have to make you something", Dib said and turned to the kitchen. No wonder Zim had completely collapsed with how little he'd eaten. Granted, it might be enough for an Irken, who probably ran mostly on whatever energy source the PAK supplied them with, but now, Zim would have to eat normally.

Lucky for them both, GIR had left the refrigerator filled with human foodstuff that he could use to cook. He found some eggs and bacon, and some already cooked rice. There was also a whole chicken, but it still had all its feathers and Dib thought he saw a worm crawling out of its eye-socket. He promptly threw it in the trash.

(He was very much aware that the trash was a passageway to the underground part of the base, and he snickered.)

Eggs and bacon, then, with a side dish of reheated rice. Luckily, the stove worked even though Dib knew how rarely the kitchen was used. He fried the eggs and bacon quickly and put the rice in the microwave.

Minutes later, the base smelled less like cleaning supplies and more like actual food. Dib re-entered the living room with a plate full of mostly breakfast-related food items.

He noticed that Zim was now sitting up, which probably was a good thing, considering he hadn't even had the strength to speak earlier today.

"Hey. I made this for you, so eat up", Dib said, putting the plate on Zim's knees.

"It smells disgusting", Zim said with a wrinkle of his nose. "Even with this inferior smelling organ, I can sense the grossness of the smell!"

"Uh-huh. How did you even smell before? I never managed to figure it out." Dib sat down in the couch, watching as Zim poked an egg suspiciously.

"Oh, with my tongue of course. At least Irkens have respectable anatomy."

Dib raised an eyebrow and stored away that little piece of information. One day he would use it against Zim, but that would be after this prank was over.

"Well. That means you won't smell it while it's in your mouth for once, yeah? So you'll survive eating it", Dib helpfully commented. He enjoyed the big-eyed look he received from that, and the cautiousness as Zim actually tried the food.

Muscles he didn't know he had tensed relaxed as Zim ate the food. It meant he wouldn't have to appear weak and go get the gun to turn him back just because Zim was being stupid and not taking care of his human body. Things would be much funnier if Zim actually got to turn himself back.

Zim looked much better after the meal as well, as he stood up and put away the dishes himself. He returned and stared at Dib, still on the couch.

"You're still here?" Zim scowled.

"Well, I figured you'd kick me out once you grow tired of me", Dib said, and sprawled a little extra on the couch. He was well aware that for once, he was physically stronger that Zim. He could do as he wished.

"I should", Zim said, although not angrily as he flopped down on his seat and closed his eyes. "My head hurts."

Come to think of it, Zim was being as angry and screamy as usual, huh? Maybe that was because of the gun as well. Dib remembered being a wolf and the instincts to attack when he otherwise would have been able to think straight. Maybe this was similar – that Zim now had a more 'human' range of emotions, which somehow made him … nicer?

That was weird. Dib didn't understand how Irkens worked on an emotional level.

"Maybe you're sleep deprived as well. I know for a fact you almost never sleep as an Irken, and since you're human now, and you needed to eat, maybe you need to sleep as well." He knew that was mostly rambling. But an interest had been created and now he really wanted to know how different Zim's human life would be in contrast to Irken Zim.

Maybe he should hide the gun a little better…

"Shut up! It's your fault I'm in this mess, so don't tell me what I need!" Zim said and glared. Although his eyes were hazy and now Dib could really tell that, yes, Zim was very tired.

"Oh, it's actually your fault for building the gun and using it on me, so there. Also, I'm the one who knows about being human, so you should listen."

Zim merely huffed, which just proved that he really wasn't that angry, but maybe tired and irritated. Dib grinned sloppily and couldn't help himself, ruffled his hair.

" _Hey!"_ Zim exclaimed, as his head followed the motion weakly.

"You can't stop me", Dib snickered and pushed Zim into the pillows," really though, try to sleep. Then you can try and take the gun from me."

The lack of response at that would have been disconcerting, but Dib was having too much fun messing with him.

It really was … nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Make this ZaDr - yay or nay you guys?


End file.
